This very autumnal recipe is an easy (if time-consuming) way to inject some good vibes into your life. With ingredients associated with luck, prosperity, good health, and love, this risotto brings a little bit of warmth and joy into cold fall days.
Ingredients:
1 large yellow onion, minced
4-8 cloves of fresh minced garlic, to taste (I use at least 8 lol)
A drizzle of olive oil
1 tsp crushed red pepper
2 cups Arborio rice (can substitute other types of rice, but this may affect cooking time)
2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 cup hard apple cider or apple ale (for a nonalcoholic substitute, use 1 cup apple juice + 1 TBSP apple cider vinegar)
3-6 cups vegetable stock (the amount depends on the cook time of the rice, and will be different every time)
salt and black pepper, to taste
[Optional] garlic powder, to taste
[Optional] onion powder, to taste
4 oz. plain goat cheese
2 Gala apples, minced
Onion and garlic are both associated with healing and protection, especially protection from illness. Garlic is said to dispel evil spirits and is used in American folk magic for both banishing and curse-breaking. Both onion and garlic are used here for general health and wellbeing.
Rice is used in magic for fertility and money spells. In this recipe, rice is used for general prosperity.
Apples are strongly associated with love, healing, and good health. Interestingly, they’re also often used for divination and are sometimes associated with the beloved dead! In this recipe, apples are used primarily for love (general love, not romantic) and good health.
Nutmeg is considered a good luck charm, and is often used in spells for health and wealth. Here it’s used for financial and physical abundance, as well as for general good luck.
Cheese (and dairy in general) is associated with joy, health, and sustenance. The associations of goat cheese are a little different from cow cheese, however. Where cows are symbols of fertility and motherhood, goats are associated with fecundity, sensuality, and vitality. Goat cheese is used in this recipe for vitality and good health.
Additions and Substitutions
I think this risotto would be really delicious with sage, but I didn’t have any in my spice cabinet. If you try this recipe with the addition of fresh or dried sage, let me know how it turned out!
If you don’t like goat cheese, or if you prefer a stronger cheese flavor, you could substitute 1 cup Parmesan. I recommend using actual Parmesan cheese instead of the stuff that comes in a jar that you shake on pasta, but use what you have access to.
As previously mentioned, if you don’t want to cook with alcohol you can replace the hard cider with apple juice and a little bit of ACV. This is actually what I do, because I recently decided to stop keeping alcohol in my home. It gives the risotto a sweeter flavor, which I actually think works really well with the goat cheese.
For a vegan alternative, try replacing the goat cheese with a vegan mozzarella cheese substitute. Mozzarella is a very mild cheese, so it shouldn’t change the flavor profile too much. If you prefer a stronger “cheesy” flavor, add a teaspoon of nutritional yeast.
I used Gala apples because they’re what I have onhand. If you prefer a more tart apple flavor, try Granny Smith instead. I would not recommend using Red Delicious, because they’re a little too sweet and don’t tend to hold up well when cooked, but you could definitely experiment with other tart and semi-sweet apple varieties.
Cooking
Cook Time: 1-1.5 hours
Begin by taking a moment to clear your mind and focus your energy. Take a few deep breaths and focus on your intention to infuse this dish with the energies of health, love, and wellbeing. If you’d like to set the mood, try putting on music that makes you feel good or a podcast that always makes you laugh. The easiest way to put good vibes into your food is to feel good while you cook it!
Add the onion and olive oil to a pot over medium heat, stirring continuously until the onions start to caramelize. Be aware that it takes a while to actually caramelize onions — you’ll know they’re done when they’ve significantly shrunk in size, are beginning to turn golden brown, and smell slightly sweet. This will take at least 20 minutes.
Once the onions are beginning to caramelize, add the garlic and crushed red pepper. Cook while stirring continuously for about five minutes.
As you stir the food, make sure you’re moving the spoon clockwise. As you do so, focus on the blessings you want to bring in. Imagine your spoon is the handle of a fishing pole, and as you turn it you “reel in” blessings. Repeat this visualization each time you add a new ingredient.
Next, add the rice and nutmeg. Continue to cook, stirring continuously, until the rice begins to turn translucent.
Add the hard cider/apple juice — it should immediately begin to bubble. Stir continuously until all the liquid is absorbed by the rice. To test if the liquid has been absorbed, drag a spoon through the rice — if the rice does not flow back into the hole left by the spoon, it’s time to add more liquid.
Add ½ cup of vegetable stock and stir continuously until all the liquid has been absorbed. Repeat this as many times as needed to completely cook the rice. (If you are choosing to add garlic and onion powder, add them with the first ½ cup of vegetable stock.)
Once the rice is cooked, turn the heat down to low. Add the goat cheese and stir until it is thoroughly melted into the risotto. Season with salt and black pepper, to taste.
Remove from heat. Add the chopped apple and mix it in. As you add the apple, stir clockwise and say: “Fruit of harmony, fruit of plenty, bring health and love to me.”
Serve immediately.
If you’re looking to make this into a meal, I think it would pair really well with roasted root vegetables like sweet potatoes or carrots. Roasted squash would also be really delicious with this! The risotto is pretty heavy and has a mildly sweet flavor, so I recommend keeping the rest of your meal light and savory.
listen, yeah, tumblr is unhinged and full of clowns but it’s unhinged in a way that has coherence. the clownery has continuity. you could reference memes from 6 years ago and people would still get it. you could make jokes from long-dead shows and someone could still understand the weird cryptic hieroglyphic language of internet culture. there’s institutional memory here. where else am i gonna get that? twitter? twitter is just 5-minute rage cycles and blue check marks with too much hubris
Not only that, it’s literally in the driver’s training manual that it is safer to stop your car and sleep on the side of the road than drive tired. Driving tired is as bad as driving drunk. It is actually a DANGER to make sleeping in your car illegal.
Laws against people living/sleeping in their cars are just homeless spikes with extra steps.
EMERGENCY IN NARMM/ MELBOURNE (AUSTRALIA) RIGHT NOW! LOCAL GOVT AND POLICE ARE UNFAIRLY TARGETING COMMUNITIES LIVING IN PUBLIC HOUSING IN LIGHT WITH A RECENT SPIKE IN COVID CASES. I HAVE COMPLIED LINKS WITH MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP BELOW!
UPDATE: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN ENGAGING WITH THIS POST. THIS IS VERY MUCH A ROLLING SITUATION SO I HAVE ATTACHED MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP BELOW.
where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry
zenni and it’s amazing and i love it 40 dollar bifocals fuck yeah
Hey I’m reblogging this again because if you need glasses here’s what I do:
Go to Costco/Sams Club/WalMart - wherever they’ve got that $58 eye exam. That’s with no insurance, btw. Just $58 cash on the counter, you get your eyes examined.
They’ll give you a copy of your prescription. ASK THE DOCTOR TO MEASURE YOUR PUPIL DISTANCE. If they don’t it’s not a huge deal, you just have to have a ruler around that has millimeters so you can measure it yourself and it won’t be as accurate but being off by as much as a centimeter isn’t a problem.
Make them give you a copy of your prescription - you are allowed to have this, they have to give you it, you don’t have to buy glasses there. If anyone challenges you say you need a copy for your records and you’re not going to buy glasses today.
Go to https://www.zennioptical.com/ and start looking at frames/glasses that you like. If you create an account it’ll let you upload a photo and based on your pupil distance the site will estimate how well various frames will fit you.
Add the frames you like to cart and start checking out - the checkout process will ask you for your RX details that will be written in the boxes on your RX page. It’s pretty intuitive to copy it over but if you get lost use the livechat feature on the zenni page.
Start selecting your glasses details. Your RX will determine what kind of lens you get (go with the one zenni recommends for materials and thickness) but your needs will determine the other stuff. I make sure to get the fancy oleophobic coating because I’m a slimy bog monster. I also get the cheapest pair of sunglasses possible because bog monsters hate the sun. You can get transitions lenses or anti-scratch coating or super lightweight lenses or whatever works best for you. The extras will add up in cost but you gotta do what you gotta do - my life is much better with a pair of sunglasses than it is with some clip-ons for my regular glasses; your life may be better with transitions lenses instead of carrying a second set of glasses. DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.
Don’t bother paying the rush shipping, this is going to take two weeks regardless.
GLASSES ARRIVE. WEAR GLASSES.
If the fit isn’t perfect see if the place that did your eye exam will adjust the fit for you. They often will free of charge.
GLASSES. GLASSES. I CAN SEE.
PROGRESSIVE BIFOCALS THAT COST $40 WITH CUTE FRAMES AND NICE COATING.
SUNGLASSES.
FUCK
It costs less for me to get two pairs of bifocals, one tinted and one clear, with special coatings and nice frames than it would cost me to get one pair of single-vision glasses from Warby Parker.
The cheapest frames available for adults on Lenscrafter’s site is $69.95. That is JUST the frames, not the lenses. The lenses are like $200. The anti-glare coating is like $70. THE ANTI GLARE COATING IS FREE AND INCLUDED WITH YOUR PURCHASE AT ZENNI. Just the frames and the coating at lenscrafters costs more than my two pairs of glasses AND my eye exam.
I can’t articulate how many literal headaches Zenni has saved me because I just used to wear my old prescription until I had trouble keeping my eyes open from the strain. Now at the first hint of eye strain it’s like “Not today, Satan!” and I can plan for the $100 expense that’s going to last me potentially years.
For all my glasses wearing followers - I definitely recommend Zenni glasses because for $2 you can add text to them and have rainbow glasses that say “be gay do crime”
Just a reminder that it’s pride month which means Zenni has rainbow frames! Proceeds from all rainbow frames go to the It Gets Better project.
good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose
It’s cuter when you recognize that the lion with visible spots is a juvenile. There’s a very high chance the other lion that runs over to investigate is the MOTHER.
The first lion is asking for comfort because she was given a big spook!!! and she needs mommy to tell her it’s safe and ok!!!! (What’s cuter is that mommy clearly reassures her, and goes on to take the parent role of ‘deal with the scream rat in order to protect my large and easily frightened daughter’)
Not only would he chase her on skates, he would press a button on his utility belt and his boots would transform into a pair of roller skates. This would be played completley straight, and never mentioned again.
I believe that if Harley Quinn was on roller skates and Batman had to apprehend her, he would simply level the playing field and chase her on skates too. I trust him to be a man of equality in this regard
